(f-bomb.)

I resent the implication that the reason I’m a Feminist

is because

once upon a time

a man lashed out at me in anger,

As if being beaten into a corner

and permanently pushed against a wall

is the only way

a little girl’s spine

could grow up

straight and tall.

And those boys that broke my heart?

They did not contribute

to my conclusion

that I am worth

something,

that I deserve

something

more

than a second-hand last name                   

and a hitch

to a wagon

that would never really be mine.

You might want to get comfortable;

Because I

am not done.

And I yes, I can see you squirm

And yes, I know it's because

Feminist

is a dirty word

And it makes you uncomfortable

And I am so terribly

not

sorry.

And now

it is time to get back to the subject

of the things that I resent:

I resent that you assume that I am kind

because I’m a girl,

or nurturing because of Nature,

or forgiving because I am of the “weaker sex.”

I resent

that you think I am these lovely things

because I am a “good woman”

instead of being because

I am a decent 

human being.

And!

For the record:

I am not strong “for a girl”

I am strong.

And I am not smart “for a girl”

I am smart.

And I realized that I would have to be both

if I wanted to survive.

And when I dropped that other F-word in your direction

(the one that ladies are not supposed to use)

it was not because a Feminist heart

can’t handle Feelings

but because

my Feminist heart

knows I deserve better.

But perhaps

even more than I resent you and your assumptions

about me

and what being a Feminist might mean

I am surprised by a world that assumes

that I couldn’t

or wouldn’t

love a man

who could find it in his heart

to love

without needing me

...to give up pieces of myself

     (to make room for his ego)

...to forsake my dreams

     (to help chase his)

...or change my name

     (so I never forget

     this is all on his terms).