(reflections, on love.)

there must be different kinds of love

for the different seasons of our life

(or perhaps,

for the different people

we become

as time

revises

what is written on our hearts).

while some may seek

ocean waves,

crashing against the shores of their souls,

it is a mistake

to underestimate

the quiet streams

that can quench a thirst

you did not know you had.

(I certainly wouldn’t want to offend you)

 your name in my mouth tastes bad
(like bile
and regret)
and your hand on my shoulder stings
like a slap in the face
(and I’ve enough experience with all these
to understand
exactly
what I am comparing you to)
and, no
I am not being dramatic.

If I were, I’d tell you that
even your kindness
is saccharine,
a cancer
that invades my brain
and makes me think things
and feel things
that I am too smart to think and feel,
and then
I’d point out that your voice makes me cringe
and consider 
ripping out my eardrums
to stop the sound
that you
are so
enamored
with.


So
in honor of not being dramatic,
read the first words
and forget 
the rest.

(parking lot poetry)

I pulled over in a parking lot

to frantically search for a pen

to write down a story

about the things

that make me remember

how much

I

love

you

when I realized I was at a church

and I smiled

and I thought

how perfectly, poetically

that describes

me and you.

You

have always led me back to God:

by the faith in your eyes,

the grace in your smile,

and the quiet strength that only comes

from holding Christ in you heart...

And,

of course,

in the way you laugh

when you say you love that I swear like a sailor

(just like you)

but still scold me

every time I say,

“goddamn.”

(car/crash)

I almost wrapped my car around a tree

because of a stop sign I did not see

because I was thinking about how there are so many things that I would hate

if I didn’t love them instead 

for reminding me of you.

And as my legs shook from shock

of how quickly I stopped

(the way they used to shake,

when they were wrapped 

around you),

I smiled and thought:

though I hope I don’t go anywhere

for a very

very

very

long time,

what better way to go

then happy,

if only by way of remembering

how happy

you

made

me.